a Little Bit Personal…

Random facts about me, the author. If you want to know more about me, no?

  1. I was born on summer
  2. My parents are religious people, they influenced me really much. My curiosity about religions was huge. I entered different classes of religion when I was kindergarten.
  3. When I was a kid, my only dream is to be an artist because I love to paint really much
  4. Writing is my theraphy
  5. I don’t eat meat and reduce consuming animal products
  6. I love to draw, write, read, sing, and play music
  7. I experienced bullying when I was still in school. That’s why I really against bullying.
  8. I am free-spirited
  9. My handwriting style always changed
  10. An animal lover
  11. Turtle is my spirit animal
  12. I love rock music from the oldies to the current, also with classical, hardcore, metalcore, deathcore, and folk.
  13. My lucky number are 22 and 9
  14. I wrote my first song when I was in junior high
  15. I love water sports
  16. I am easily getting inspired by people
  17. Banana is my favorite fruit
  18. I am undergraduate psychology major
  19. I want to be writer and psychologyst
  20. I love my family really much, and also my friends
  21. I believe if Freud is a genius person
  22. I believe in alien
  23. I love cocoa
  24. My favorite colors are black and blue
  25. I want to meet James Aspey (he was the first person that gave me inspiration to be a vegan), Gerard Way, Hannah Pixie, Billie Joe Armstrong, and all of my vegan friends also around the world

Xo.pdd

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When You’re not Into Love

I am not gonna talk about cheap-love tips or your normal love tips because I’m not into love (and not romantic relationship oriented). This is more like a way to deal with the negative side of love. I am not professional or experienced, however, it’s nice having an opportunity to share my point of view about certain things. Some of them are from my experiences *shush* Whether you’re agree or not, it’s all your choice.

You can’t force someone to love you back. No matter how hard you try, when she/he isn’t into you – just forget the love right away. If you force, it will hurt them and also you. Maybe you still wanna try, but give a limit. It’s better to not waste your time and energy on one person who give zero result. Respect their choice. Because, (I know it will be hurting, but…) whether you’re good looking, smart, rich, or even not at all – still, when they don’t, they don’t.

Keep your eyes off from couple-posts (in case you have phobia, or right after the break up). Waste your time with other way, give time to yourself. The reality sometimes doesn’t match, the photo may looks so romantic but it also couldn’t in reality!

When all your friends have their own romantic partner, devil-may-care! At least you have yourself, right? *lol* sounds pathetic but at least you’re not.

Not into love? Have no will to find potential partner? It’s actually okay. I thought that society always try to find your flaw… like being single for example. It’s not a bad thing, indeed so why worry… okay, maybe in some cases the self-esteem of some people decline because of this thing – I feel that way too. And I remember the quote about special woman just like the apples on the top of the tree, hard to get, and they wonder why. In fact, it’s not because something wrong with them. Just wait for the brave one to climb to the top of the apple tree. Or when you’re too hippie to be in love haha. It’s okay, because I’m hippie too <3. The universe provides locked mysteries and they wait for you to unlock them. Go explore!

 

 

 

12 Tipe Orang di Kereta

Karena tiap hari saya naik kereta ke kampus, alih-alih ikut-ikutan emosi sama penumpang yang nyebelin, saya menulis tentang “12 Tipe Orang di Kereta” berdasarkan observasi lapangan yang tidak profesional. Just for fun, without intention to hurt someone’s feeling and no judging people after this, okay…? 😀 (sorry not in English-full for now, because this is in #IndonesiaOnly).

 

  1. Yang suka ke ge-er-an
    Ke ge-er-an bukan pas naksir-naksirran aja, tapi bisa terjadi di dalam kereta.
    “Bu, jangan dorong-dorong, dong!!” padahal gak ada yang maksud dorong dia.
    “Ini kenapa rambut saya ditarik-tarik sih?!” biasanya orang kayak gini muncul kalau kereta lagi rame dan desak-desakan.
  2. Si baik hati
    Yang gak pikir panjang buat kasih tempat duduk pada prioritas, lah. Gak tunggu sampai orang lain melakukannya, gak pikir dua kali buat kasih tempat duduk.(Prioritas: ibu hamil, ibu membawa anak, peyandang disabilitas, dan lansia)
  3. Suka baperan
    Jadi gini, waktu penulis turun dari kereta jurusan Jakarta Kota, ada bapak-bapak yang mau naik pake nabrakin badan seenaknya gitu, terus mukanya kayak orang kesel banget. Padahal masih lega. Hmmm, gak ngerti, deh. Pokoknya keliatannya baper aja.
  4. Yang emosi-an
    Biasanya kalau sering naik kereta, apalagi di jam yang sama, biasanya bisa ketemu dengan orang yang sama. Penulis pernah ketemu dengan satu bapak-bapak yang hobi nya ngajak berantem penumpang lain, hobinya komplain ini itu kayak “ya elah lama banget sih antriannya coba?!” “minggir lu jangan lewat sini” kira-kira kayak gitu, suaranya juga masih ingat dengan jelas kok. Kalau ketemu yang model gini, ngalah aja deh. Jangan diladenin. “Orang waras ngalah” xD
  5. Yang suka pacaran di kereta.
    Rada eneg sih liatnya. Mungkin aja, menurut mereka, kereta itu adalah salah satu spot favorit buat orang pacaran. Soalnya kalau di drama-drama biasanya di kereta atau stasiun kereta itu adegan romantis. Jadi, ya…
  6. Hobi: tidur di kereta
    Bisa aja gitu, sepanjang perjalanan tidur. Pas sampai di stasiun tujuannya langsung melek mata.
  7. Cabe
    Kalau di kereta ketawa cekikikan terus suaranya gede banget. Bikin tambah puyeng sih, annoying gitu.
  8. Yang ganteng
    Biasanya jadi perhatian, tapi jarang muncul kayak menunggu kepala kura-kura untuk dilempari gelang di laut. Biasanya ganteng, tapi dikit doang.
  9. Yang cantik (kayak SPG nyasar di kereta)
    Biasanya jadi perhatian, apalagi kalau masuk di tempat cowok. Biasanya sih kalo ditempat cewek, dicuekin. Kalau gak diliatin terus dengan tatapan iri huehehe. Pasti pas keluar udah abis tuh make-upnya luntur, bajunya lecek, kegencet-gencet (baca: kalo rame)
  10. Yang suka nengok-nengok ke belakang
    Kemungkinan besar karena terganggu sama yang di belakangnya. Mau ngomong tapi gak tahu kata-kata yang tepat, mau protes tapi namanya juga di kereta. Ya akhirnya dia cuma bisa nengok-nengok ke belakang.
  11. Mesum
    Penulis udah ketemu sama yang kayak gini dua kali. Harus peka, nih. Terutama untuk cewek-cewek. Soalnya, orang begini bakal cari kesempatan dalam kesempitan (peribahasa yang cocok buat di kereta, btw) dan sebisa mungkin membuat dirinya seolah tidak sengaja atau pura-pura sedang melakukan hal lain seperti merogoh kantong – padahal bukan!
  12. Friendly
    Pertama kali naik kereta pasti kita pengen jadi orang yang friendly pada sesama penumpang. Tapi, kalau kita mau cari, itu susah banget. Yang ajak ngobrol santai di kereta, atau sekadar curhat. Itu jarang ada. Jarang. Kalau kata dosen penulis, kalau orang-orang naik kereta itu (contohnya), “survival-mode” mereka teraktifkan. Jadi, menyeruduk, menyikut, mendorong, akan menjadi wajar bagi kamus mereka. Lalu, kondisi yang tidak nyaman (contoh: ada banyak orang, panas) bisa mengaktifkan tingkat agresivitas seseorang. #eaaa #azig

Okeeee, jadi itu dua belas tipe orang di kereta. Buat kamu yang naik kereta pasti ngerti banget, dong… Kamu pernah nemuin yang nomor berapa aja, nih, dari dua belas tipe di atas? Atau kamu termasuk salah satunya?

 

Abusive Relationship

Hello anyone who read this! How are you? I hope you’re all fine 🙂

Well, this time I am gonna talk about “Abusive Relationship” also about the abusive partner in romantic relationship. As we all know, bullying and abuse become our current issues in society. Bullying has many forms, one of them is verbal abuse. Words can’t stab you, but words left the pain forever. Many people do suicide because of that.

So, what do you think when you heard “domestic abuse” or “abuse”? Is it like what you see in this picture below?

 

Domestic violence-dailyrecord.co.uk
sources: dailyrecord.co.uk

Yes, you are right. But abuse is not only physically, it is also in verbal.

I read an article from “Celebrate Your Weirdness” by kawanku magazine, it’s named “Signs of an Abusive Relationship”. There are FIVE signs of abusive relationship. If you have partner, I kindly urge you to check the signs before too late.

  1. Controlling
  • Wants to know where you go, what you do, all-the-time.
  • Exaggerated jealousy. (he even get jealous with your pet, really. or your friends.)
  • force you to follow what he/she does (“you must do this, if you don’t Iwill ….*something not nice* you)
  • controlling how you suppose to dress up (it is possible to warn you wearing your favorite clothes which is not suit with his taste).
  • Make sure you don’t get what you want, only what he wants you to get.
  • He wants to know all of your social media’s passwords and controlling your activity in social media there.
  • he controls your finance, possibly.

2. Isolation

  • Get rid off all of your social life. He must be the center in your life.
  • Dissociate all your friends with you.
  • Prohibit you to go without him.
  • Limit your relationship with family.

3. Crazy-making

  • Blame on others for what he did wrong.
  • Said if you’re way too sensitive.
  • Change in mood dramatically (more than PMS, you know…)
  • Twist your spiel against you.
  • You are always WRONG in front of him. All he does drive you crazy. It’s crazy-making.

4. Emotional

  • Doesn’t respect you.
  • Hurt your pet or breaks your things.
  • Never (want to) hear your side, opinion, and doesn’t give to chance to speak.
  • Embarrass you in front of people or even when just two of you
  • say things that make you feel bad or negative about yourself. (it lowers your self-esteem).
  • Call you names (in negative way).

5. Physical

It’s easiest to detect, like:

  • Hit
  • Slap
  • Hurt
  • Push you to fall
  • Kick
  • Force you to do sexual activity
abuse1
pic : pinterest

So, once again. Being abused doesn’t mean you hurt physically only. What should you do if you’re trapped in this toxic relationship already?

Don’t expect him to change his behavior.

It’s the first thing to do. You should know if when you try to end the relationship, he/she will turn into vulnerable, an angel who did a mistake and wants you to forgive. Maybe he will begs. Say bunch of hollow bullshit nice words. Making thousands of promises to get you again. And if you fall to the same hole, he will return to daemon-ish again. After the break up, he might shows you as a different person but it’s just a same trap. He could be worse than ever, it’s a form of revenge.

Ask for help

You can ask your family, friends, or anyone who has close relationship to you. You can’t fight alone in this case. Tell them. Don’t keep it yourself. Ask their advice. You can ask the professional too. And make a good plan how to end your relationship.

Save the prove

If you have the proves, it is better to keep it. Like short messages, chats that contain of abuse verbally. Or you can write down what he did.

Take your time and spend your time with others.

Yes, you should heal yourself with the help from others. Remember, to end your life is not the effective way to solve your problems, and it’s not the good way to get rid off your negative feelings. If you hate spending time with others, you can write down all of your feelings. Promise that you will heal very soon.

I hope you enjoy your day. If you have this kind of relationship, consider. If you know any of your friend, or family, everyone who has this issue on their life, try to help in safe way.

If you want to know more about this topic, you can search for more. Don’t forget to watch “The Boy Next Door” starring Jennifer Lopez. It’s a good example of abusive partner and characteristics of psychopath person you need to know.

goodnessgoddess

01 Friends for Life

Friends for life

I used to think if having friends is not really important. Well, it’s quite important – a good one. Not the one who backstabbed you, spread wrong rumors, or take only the advantage in you. In my younger years, it’s really hard to find a good friend. I didn’t expected a best friend, just a good friend for me. It wasn’t easy since I wasn’t well-accepted person in my peers. So, I ended up being alone. Accepting my flaws. I also had a tough social life. Since a kid, boys bullied me. Also with seniors, and classmate. Like, threw my sandals on the rubbish bin, or yelled at me when I came in front of their face.

“Maybe I am not normal”, I tought. Later on, I realized if they were abnormal. They mocked me fat when they were really thin or even not slimmer than me. I was on ideal weight that time. I just realized it now. Just noted, never call a girl fat even when you’re joking. “Fat” is only a word. When it comes to their perception, it can last forever. The society demand you too much.

Slowly, good friend comes to me. They are who know you as you are and still accept you. They are who always be there on sunny or rainy days. It’s hard to find true friends, for me. I don’t know what about you. I hope you find one.

I experienced the toughness in society for years, until frequently. They made me as a stronger individual and I tried to let go my hatred towards them. Life is too short to fill my heart with desire to revenge. Let the karma works. Living happy life, as the best revenge.

Having true friends, supportive family is more than enough to brighten your day. Don’t need to make a scar on your wrist, doing self-harm, or even ended up your life.

People who tried to bring you down, it only means you’re above them.

Have a nice day. I hope you love yourself. Or,

Learn to love yourself better.

 

Love,

.pdd

A Brief Introduction

I am undergraduate psychology student who loves writing and making art. This blog will post about self-note, author’s experience, perhaps some poets, or anything like that! Also part of goodnessgoddess, just a little more private blog than the main one. I hope you enjoy reading ❤ . Have a nice day! xx

  • psychology major
  • buddhist
  • detective-crime based story lover
  • loves reading, writing, making some arts
  • enjoys singing and sometimes plays music
  • vegetarian who try transitioning to vegan
  • into rock band
  • regrets fall in love too fast
  • free-spirited
  • ambivert-extrovert
  • loves babies